The next time you go to the doctor to suck a little thunder off your thighs, be sure to ask for the fat leftovers. It turns out that human lard makes great biodiesel, just like the grease from the french fries that you gorged on, the ones that made you go to the mad hack to begin with. Of course, using human medical waste is illegal, so please don’t try it at home. Just ask Beverly Hills hack man Craig Alan Bittner, who is currently on the lam from authorities for, among many other things, boasting about using leftover fat to power his cars. The claim is slightly ridiculous because Bittner owns a Ford Expedition and Lincoln Navigator, neither of which are powered with diesel engines.
The drama is good for one reason, however, beyond mindless entertainment. It shows just how versatile diesels can be. Indeed, there are plenty of legal fuel sources for biodiesel, including such things as coffee grounds and other types of waste. Animal or vegetable fat also works because it has triglycerides that can be turned into diesel, and, according to the story on forbes.com, gets about as much mileage per gallon.
But don’t trust us. Instead, take comfort in the wise words of Alan Bittner: “The vast majority of my patients request that I use their fat for fuel–and I have more fat than I can use,” Bittner boasted on lipodiesel.com. “Not only do they get to lose their love handles or chubby belly but they get to take part in saving the Earth.”
Yeah for blubber!