Avoiding a Polar Vortex


You should try living in Mexico. That would effectively warm up your winters, but, given the random and bloody spits of drug cartel violence (think Machete, as in, MACHETE) that seem to always happen there, you may wish to sacrifice some comfort for a little safety. Plus all those nasty monsoons and what not could really ruin a nice summer, if you know what I mean.
Fact is, if you’re a cow this polar wind crap is your fault. So try shutting your cud hole. The amazing thing is that instead of complaining about it, we should be asking why it’s happening – and if we should start getting worried about the weather. Here’s an example: Yesterday, in my town, it was 5 degrees. Five degrees – with a wind chill of -10. Four days from now? Get out the shorts, because it’s going to be a balmy 62. If you think that’s just a weird weather phenomenon, get your head examined. It’s cold because the planet is hot, yet too many people don’t want to admit it. The brutal science is that the water is warmer, and that pushes the jet stream around and retards the system, shaking loose the artic cap of cold air and sending it south across North America.

It’s either that, or God is punishing us – just us – for universal healthcare. Or maybe Canadians for Rob Ford.

You can read more about the whys behind the polar vortex here: http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2014-01-07/why-is-it-so-cold-the-polar-vortex-explained.html

But before you go to the site, leave your notions behind. The craziest thing is that global warming has become such a politicized phrase, when there’s solid science that shows not just the change but the ramifications of this super-heated environment. We all live on the rock. We all breathe the same air. This is about science, not opinion – or at least it’s about the most educated, non-biased opinion available. And that’s kind of the point: some things are beyond politics, beyond the insipid “I think” talking heads on the television and online. They have no greater insight into topics like global warming than any of us — and probably a darn sight less.

Some things need to be free to stand on the merits of expertise. And facts. Whether it’s avoiding the Polar Vortex or dodging a bullet to the brain, there are some things that have science — and some that don’t, like cows.

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